


[end]

by izuku



Series: charlie vents by projecting onto characters [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cancer, Hospitals, M/M, hinata has cancer, im sorry abt this, this is a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8139989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izuku/pseuds/izuku
Summary: He's so bright- but he can't burn for long.





	

**Author's Note:**

> honestly idk why im posting this but jsyk i was psychojuuzou but i changed my user
> 
> this is a vent fic. one of my best friends passed away from colorectal cancer last month, on the 27th of august, 2016. you may have known him as dostmotherknowyou on tumblr. he was so kind and so brave, and i miss him with my whole damn heart. so kippy, this is for you, i suppose, you were a giver and the world just took and kept taking from you. you deserve so much more.

I think that people think that cancer is some big setup for the rest of your life, that it’s concrete and that it will either end you or make you a survivor, and that’s bullshit.

 

Cancer is big. It’s scary. Actually, scratch that, it’s fucking terrifying. It’s painful and shitty and is the exact antithesis of romantic, despite what _The Fault In Our Stars_ may lead you to believe. Cancer fucking sucks.

 

When Hinata Shouyou is diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer, it feels like his world is crumbling. The doctor is full of fake smiles and assurances that, _while it is terminal, treatments can lengthen your lifespan considerably_. That night, he doesn’t sleep. He sits, stares at a wall, thinks occasionally, and cries.

 

His first chemotherapy session is two days later, and he hates it.

 

He feels gross. He’s in pain so bad he can’t stand, with the added bonus of puking everywhere, and he wants out. He doesn’t want this body, it’s given him enough shit and he’s tired of it. He wants out, he wants it done, he wants anything but this.

 

The team visits him on days that he doesn’t have treatment, and they never fail to make him smile, and he them. He’s a ray of light no matter what, a shining star through all the shit that the world has thrown at him, bright and happy as he always was.

 

It’s on one of his days home that things start to get worse. He stands up from the toilet and sees red, red, red. Ten minutes later he’s in the back of his mother’s car, wailing in pain as she rushes him to the hospital.

 

He thought he’d have longer. They all thought he’d have longer. But when the team sees his gaunt, hollow face resting on the pillow of his hospital bed, they know his time is running out. They spend as much time with him as they can, especially Kageyama. There’s so many words left unsaid between the two, but the world feels too cruel when Shouyou winds his bony, pale fingers through Kageyama’s. No words are spoken.

 

Hinata Shouyou smiles for the last time on February 27th, a wisp of the boy he used to be. The lighting of the hospital room is too harsh for his pallor, too bright for Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Hikari to see the final curl of his lips as his heartrate monitor flatlines, as his eyes gloss over and breathing stops. It is too bright for the pained sobs of his loved ones, clutching his hand as they charge the defibrillator over and over and _over_.

 

And it stops.

 

Hinata Shouyou wakes up to flowers and sun, happy and healthier in death than he ever could have been in life.

**Author's Note:**

> it's like 11pm and i wrote this in 10 minutes i cannot be fucking bothered to edit it.  
> for all those who care, shouyou's secret will update soon, and i will also be posting a long tododeku oneshot and starting a bokuaka fic in the near future. comments are always appreciated.


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